And meanwhile in the gossip department...

[dduane]

I swear, it's like watching high-stakes poker on TV. But high-stakes poker played by six-year-olds.

i m divorcin u kthxbye

Oh yeah? I want a lot of money or I'm taking the kids because you're a bad mom.

No I'm not and no you're not. Read the prenup again and buzz off.

Oh yeah? Well I have a sooper sekrit sex tape and I'm gonna sell it for a gazillion dollars.

No you won't, I'll leak it to the filesharers first and nobody'll pay you for what they can get for free. And I'm selling the house and buying a loads bigger one that you'll never have been inside of. Nyah nyah.

Oh yeah? Well there is no tape. Hahahahahaha. And I'm going to write a book about you anyway and tell everybody all your secrets.

...(sigh) Okay, what's the next card down on the table?